kagetsuki_san (kagetsuki_san) wrote,

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Rainy Season

Well, it's officially the beginning of the rainy season and even though I love rain, my mood isn't good at all.  It was fine earlier but then it slided downward.  People and events keep reminding me about my low self-esteem, which I'm pretty good at keeping hidden from the world.  I mean, come on, there's no reason to share with it everyone all the time right? Well, I have a particular friend who does.  She kept talking about how ugly she is, how she needed to go workout, and this and that, to the point where I wanted to smack her! Come on! Enough already! What gets me is that she's barely a size 1, which brought the fact that I'm an overweight, short, ugly girl to the forefront.  I don't want to sit there and comfort her when I'm much much worse.  She's taller, thin, and every freaking guys that see her seem to go crazy for her and she's complaining? Why? I don't get it!! Sometime, it drives me crazy, but I don't want to ruin a friendship so I put up with it even though inside I'm slowly crying to myself, because, really, if I was as thin and tall as her I would be so happy.  Sometime, I think she's only saying all that to get me to tell her she's pretty or to compare myself to her.  Mean right, but that's my low self-esteem talking there. Oh, it's gonna be a long day.
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